Posts

Showing posts from May, 2008

Mobile Post

Image
Wow - this is my first `post' from my mobile phone. I decided I'd better get my head around this technology, for when we go to Morocco later this year. Hopefully it will work just as well using a Morrocan telecom provider.
Image
how do I write about the frustration of not working? It's driving me nuts not having a job to get up and go to. It was OK up until late last week as I had the work on my new garden to keep me going, but as the weeks draw on and my financial resources dwindle, projects come to a halt from lack of funding and I find myself wondering what there is to get up for today. I try to call at least two recruiters everyday and scour the job websites and phone or email my own network of professional friends. I'm just having no luck at all. I can't even seem to get to an interview! They don't like me because I've got a TAFE background, they don't like me because I'm not well enough connected, they don't like me because I don't have enough commercial experience, they don't like me because I don't have enough IT experience, they don't like me because my TAFE background isn't current enough...... and so it goes. There is nothing worse than being a hi

death and falling angels (for Kristin)

Boys take a lift with the wrong person, girls slip on railway tracks, girls go missing from facebook pages, dogs sleep, oceans part us. Everytime I drive the Westgate she's tumbling off against a perfect sky until the water smacks her to a halt. Oceans engulf us, rivers trace our faces, anguish bursts from our skins. Holding grief is like driving a car in the night. Not feeling the wind, not smelling the bitumen, not talking to anyone, not listening, not touching or being touched, not recognising the scenery. Remembering is like watching a video without the sound. Incomplete and unfinished. I'm driving, inured to the world. Every song on the radio has a line for me. "...is the scenery flying past and I'm standing still?" Grief never changes, it is always fresh and startling in its anguish, as if we don't know it, haven't met it a hundred times before. It is the most (in)human of emotions, coming from so deep within that it changes everything, yet nothin

Anyone would think I'm a bird hater

Image
Well after having the arborist nearly decimate anything green at my place, now I've gone and introduced a bird murderer into the mix. Meet Charlie - he has definite `mouser' capabilities, however I don't think he's going to make it as a bird catcher - he took a flying leap to try and gain enough airspace to make it onto my computer desk tonight and his front paws landed on some paper causing him to slide right back off again leaving his dignity severely impaired. He will be an indoor cat, with a limited run built outside. At the moment he is a fairly timid 4mth old who has just been separated from his brothers. They were all in a big cage during the day and a proper cattery at night, so having the freedom of a whole house, and being alone is a bit daunting. Last night he slept in the wash basket on top of the blanket box at the foot of my bed, and every couple of hours I'd half wake to plaintive little meows, and I'd mumble at him groggily until he went quiet

Birds and Chainsaws

Image
You know you should NEVER leave a guy with a chainsaw in charge..... I had the arborist come in today to clean up some of the trees in the yard. We had hoped to take down the big euc., that is riddled with borer, but the permit hasn't come through from the council, yet. David started cleaning up various other trees, and removing the cypress out the front and the sick lophostemon out the back. I needed to go out for ten minutes to the shops, and when I came back he had almost removed the lovely bottlebrush on the side fence. I nearly died! It's a favourite tree of all the little birds that enjoy my yard in the morning. I made him stop, but now I have a very sad looking bare branched callistemon, with just a few scrappy bunches of leaf here and there. Luckily I know that they re-shoot as soon as they get some rain, but the poor little finches and honey-eaters will have to find somewhere else to shelter for a while. Mum sent me off on a wild chase this week, to find a Gould bir

Goofing off

Image
A Colourbond moment - From druglord black to nature green! I'm trying hard to find a new job, to support myself in the manner I like to be accustomed to. I've put in lots of applications and had a number of interviews. I even made it to second round on the last one, however it wasn't to be. It's an interesting experience, because you re-format yourself to fit the different roles being advertised. Sometimes you reply to something because you're getting deserate, then you realise it's simply not you. Other times you see something you'd really really like to do, and you know you are completely capable of it, but you just can't seem to make the sale. Other times the recruiters talk you into something you were a little half hearted about and suddenly you really want that job, but it slips out of your grasp. All the time there's that horrible voice in the back of your brain saying "You'd better get something soon..." it clouds your judgemen

The Alchemist and other thoughts

Serendipity - don't you love the sound of that word? Fate, dejavu, destiny, all the words we have to describe things that seem to be pre-ordained, immutable, of extraordinary coincidence or just meant to happen. Sometimes I subscribe to them, sometimes I don't. On Thursday the fortune cookies message seemed an omen. My sisters & I often refer to ancestors, seeking assurance that they will guard us through life's travails and set us on the right path. (Assuming we allow this to happen, by not ignoring omens etc) The cold hard rational side of me poo poo's these ideas, but they make good fodder for an idle brain! As does day dreaming about the perfect lover. Someone who will make me feel like a princess in a desert tent under a night sky of a million stars, who will make each morning seem like endless summer and will magically remove obstacles from my way (oh yeah). Unfortunately the trade off to get a bloke like that is just too much! I enjoy living on my own and I r

Too many drugs

I got through Friday by taking a Nyal Herbal remedy for Sinus relief. It was one of those ones that have different tables for day and for night, mainly because the night ones have a soporific effect. So I took two of those on Friday night as I wanted to make sure I got enough rest to handle the flight back to Melbourne on Saturday morning, and the interview process on Saturday afternoon. They worked. I remember getting up at about 4am to go to the loo and thinking - "Hmm, I hope I can walk better than this tomorrow." Then I had a weird dream in which my dog (I don't currently have a dog) was with me in a high set Qld style house and there was a BBQ happening, and I threw a bit of gristle out the back door. The dog went after it and simply plunged off the landing at the top of the stairs and fell onto a bare earth patch that looked as if it had just been dug & was waiting for planting. The dog got up and sort of staggered and I looked down into the backyard and saw Ger

head colds

Image
Argh! I'm in Sydney and I've got the worst 'orrible 'ead, dolb. I woke at 4.30 am with my nose running and my eyes sore. I more or less didn't get back to sleep and got up at 6 am . I stuck it out until 10.30 am when I had to leave my nice cosy home to go down the highway to Avalon Airport & catch the plane to Sydney. I popped the first Sudafed then. Everything was out of sync. At home I jus't coudn't get my act together to sort out what paperwork I needed and what I had to pack. I ended up arriving at Avalon an hour and a half early becaues my sinus inflamed brain couldn't calculate the time to drive there properly. I did get to read `The Alchemist' by Paoulo Coelho, while I waited, and finished it before we arrived in Sydney. Lovely book, I'm not sure that it has entirely converted me to mystic spiritualism, though. The descent & landing in Sydney was pretty miserable, reminiscent of that horrible flight back from Townsville when I was