Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Listening to Little Birdy, `Brother' off the Confetti album. How come some people can get all of it into words and music? I'm reeling from dealing with a friends personal tragedy tonight and my emotions feel very exposed. I wonder if those singers go over and over the emotions each time they have to perform. That would be so exhausting. Do they pluck them and pull at them so much during the writing period, that by the time they've performed the tune a few times it's all gone? I guess they get so that they can distance themselves from the original event that germinated the art.
I find little spaces to box stuff up into. Whether it's pleasure or pain. Mostly I think about pulling out the pleasure stuff, reviewing the memory. Mostly it's little things like the sky at sunrise or filled with winter colour. I've a picture memory tonight that's going to take a while to store away, a friends face in transition towards death, and the distress of his partner. I don't know if I can overlay it with the beautiful winter sky I saw as I drove this evening. I feel so inadequate as she tells me she thinks he's got much less time than they said at the hospital. I don't know what to say, because I know she's right. His face was somewhere between life and a death mask and you could read it there in front of you. I don't know how to help.
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Friday, my BGL's ranged between 5.6 and 6.5 all day. Incredible. I worked from home, because I had some new furntiure arriving. In between report writing and email checking etc, I rearranged old furniture including emptying a 2m bookcase and stacking all the books to await the new wall unit. I was pretty much up and down from the desk all day. When the furniture arrived I assissted with it's installation and so on. As a result I had almost perfect BGL's, only needing to bolus for the evening meal. Saturday - yuk! My BGL's went down then up up up, sitting between 14.5 and 22.9. Did I have a fever? Nooo, was I eating more than usual? nooo, was I incredibly inactive? No. I was helping unpack removalists boxes at my Mum's new unit. So what else was different about Saturdya - aha - day 3.5 for this infusion set. I definitely get site resistance after 3 days. I changed the set this morning and we're back to almost normal, tho not as good as Friday.
Can I give up my day job and still earn what I do but be physically active all day??? I need a job doing letterbox drops or gardening or being a personal trainer, that pays $100,000 a year!
Umm, then again, at 52 it mightn't be such a good idea..... Actually when I think about it, I couldn't get my BGL's down below 9.8 when we were mountain trekking in Morocco, but that might have had something to do with the chest infection I had at the time. But seriously, I think that desk jobs are the worst possible thing for the health of Type 1 diabetics.